Lessons when snow flakes hit

Posted by james in We all hate the blog      2 comments

Feb
6

The winter of 09/10 will be one talked about in hushed tones from here on out… it will be one of those winters talked about when people say “when I was a kid we didn’t even go to school shit was so bad! We took up living in igloos and not trusting anyone!”

For those of you not keeping score on the Northern Virginia/Washington DC snow scene this year, we got some snow then we got more this weekend.

This picture does not do it justice.

I literally can’t go on my deck. It’s taller then the dog. It’s up to the wife’s belly button. I can’t see my lawn furniture as an example of how sitcom-ish this snow storm is.

We are 24 hours into non-stop snow, and this is what I have learned too late to be useful:

• Movies: I have 1562 movies. They are entirely the wrong movies for this weekend. I even carefully massaged my Netflix que into something brilliant as far back as last week, I made runs to Target and Best Buy to stock up. None of them are what I want to watch right now… I even know exactly what movies I want to watch. None of them are here. Sure I could get them on iTunes but they aren’t high definition. So I am stuck watching TV.
• TV: Wow, watching nothing but HGTV and Food Network you notice how bright sunny and not buried under three feet of snow the rest of the world is. You know it’s bad when you are watching HGTV and they are showing a snowy house in Canada in the dead of winter and you are thinking “Wow it looks nice there! We should move there!”
• Food: I want Taco Bell. Let me rephrase that, I always want Taco Bell… but being denied Taco Bell by mother nature makes me dream about it. I had a dream about a Crunch Wrap Supreme. We bought $183 of food this week (We hadn’t been shopping in awhile) and even the usual mix of frozen burritos, instant macaroni and cheese and tomato soup doesn’t seem to quell the hunger pains I have for something drowning in Fire sauce and come wrapped in a multicolored festive wrapper.
• Eating: My wife pointed this out to me. We have done nothing but snack, graze and then eat this weekend so far and we’re only 24 hours in. What is it about an abundance of food and the inability to go outside that makes us want to put on winter weight and hibernate until True Blood comes back on tv this summer?
• Facebook: No matter how different we are inside, our Facebook pages all lead us to believe the same thing: We are not shoveling anymore. Some of us hung tough until 1AM, some quit as soon as they hit home last night and some of us didn’t even bother. Sunday we will see a rash of posts that all say : Oh crap. I should have kept up with the shoveling better.
• Florida: My brother-in-law was outside the disaster area, so instead of you know waiting out the storm where he was – he flies to his mother’s. While his wife and dog are buried under massive blankets of cold white snow he can have the single best restaurant dish I had in 2009 – Kobe Beef Meatloaf with bbq sauce.
• Slacker: Wow, who knew that the slacker gene is cold activated? I have all these ambitious plans (Like making this website have actual content) but all I can think about is making a bed cave and hope there’s no work on Monday.
• Dog: My cousin is right, a deck is a life saver. The dog can go under the deck to do her dog business. It’s got to suck to be a dog and have to pee outside… the snow is taller then you by inches. You’re trying to urinate in the freezing cold wind with someone watching and all you can think about is an avalanche! I think that proves we are smarter than dogs, we invented indoor plumbing for ourselves while all the can do is catch squirrels.

I am going to take this snow storm sequel opportunity to work on this website. Let me know if there is anything you want me to help you with as far as computers/technology goes!

Later eh, -james.

Related posts:

Musings from a snow day (December 2009)

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